Tomorrow's the big day

Well, it's finally here. After numerous OB appointments, the urologist, and lots of blood work, tomorrow we get to know what this all points towards.

We will meet with the RE, get an internal ultrasound (shouldn't I at least get dinner first?) and have a plan...an actual, honest-to-goodness, here is what we do next kind of plan...I'm nervous (don't want to have to do injectables, but I'm ready for anything) and excited, and a little scared (what if he says our chances are like, nada?).

On a less than stellar note, I haven't gone in for urine HPT because I'm spotting again. My body hasn't decided if this is going to turn into AF or not. However, it is slightly embarrassing, because things will be a little messy for the RE. I know he does things like this all the time, but that doesn't help.

Uterus revolt

Well, I tested...bfn.

It's hard because I could tell even my DH was hopeful. He actually woke up and went to ask me while I was in the shower. Usually I just wake him and tell him the results before I leave for work.

It's just not fair. You're taught that if your period is late you are mostly like pregnant. It's practically ingrained into you and yet...here we are.

Dear Uterus,

I know you don't like me. I know we're not even really on speaking terms, but this is just too much. Here we are at CD 39 and AF has not decided to show. Tomorrow morning I'm going to take an HPT and, Uterus, it would really be nice if you could cooperate with this.

I mean, at this point, with everything being so late, if you give me a negative...well than f#$% you too.

Day 35

CD 35 and no sign of AF. I've had lots of CM for over a week now. Two weeks ago tomorrow I had b/w and my progesterone was .7.

I don't know what to think but optimism is again creeping back in.

If no AF by Monday, I'm testing.


God, please don't let my body hate me so much to fake me out this much.

The un-reality of television

We were watching Fraiser on the Tivo and came across the episode where Niles and Daphne decide to start trying. Niles tells her that he might have another child because he once donated at a sperm bank. When he goes to the sperm bank, he finds that his sample was discarded due to extremely low motility.

That evening he tells Daphne that they may not be able to conceive a child. She's all okay with it and says that there are lots of things medicine can do for infertile couples (way to optimistic and easygoing of a response, but this is not my issue). She then pulls out an OPK and tells Niles that she's ovulating. On their way up the stairs, Niles realizes that she took an HPT instead of an OPK and they're pregnant.

Yeah right.

Whatever.

General Update

Well, the spotting I experienced was not implantation spotting (which I knew was the case) because my progesterone is only 0.7, which means no ovulation has taken place. My monitor told me I didn't ovulate either, but since I didn't temp this month, it was nice to have medical proof.

Our next appointment is Jan. 14th. I'll have an internal ultrasound and then the doctor will discuss with DH and I our treatment options.



Christmas was good. My parents were very generous with the presents to DH and myself. This weekend we go out of town to pick up DH's Christmas present from me, a camping trailer for us to use as the new camping season approaches. Once we get it home and set up, I will post some pictures. This evening we pick up my present...a new office chair so I can sit in ultimate comfort while surfin' the web.



Late Merry Christmas to all those who read my thougts.

Too Optimistic

I had posted a little while ago about spotting. Well, after about three days of really super light, brown spotting, it's gone.

This is a problem because now it has kindled hope for this cycle. I don't need that kind of hope. I don't need that "maybe I'm pregnant" thought that keeps sneaking into my head.

I never got a peak on my monitor, so I have no reason to expect that I ovulated at all this cycle, and yet a few days of spotting and I'm already wondering.

I need to squelch this feeling, because it will only lead to disappointment.




On a good note, last of blood work was drawn this morning (I think we're up to vial 14 now) and we have our diagnosis and treatment appointment on January 14th. Which means by February we should be on a medicated/medical intervention cycle.


2008 is our year...at least I certainly hope it is.