Dear Uterus,

I know you don't like me. I know we're not even really on speaking terms, but this is just too much. Here we are at CD 39 and AF has not decided to show. Tomorrow morning I'm going to take an HPT and, Uterus, it would really be nice if you could cooperate with this.

I mean, at this point, with everything being so late, if you give me a negative...well than f#$% you too.