Dream

Last night I had weird dreams related to IF. I can remember being in some kind of surgical room imagining that I was having some kind of egg retrieval. I remember the nurse saying I had fifty eggs!! (wishful thinking, I know). I was strange. I think at some point I dreamt that I had just found out we were pregnant. I've had those types of dreams before, but not since about nine months into our journey.

If I examine my feelings today, there really aren't any. I'm not anxious, I'm not depressed, hopeful, anything really. It's not an empty feeling, it's just there are no feelings there. I don't know if I'm repressing something or that I worked out all of those feelings in my dreams.

I do feel one thing, and that is frustration. I find myself ovulating the last few months with last month having some awesome timing, and yet nothing comes of it. It's so freakin' frustrating!!! The clinic received our paperwork on Wednesday and it's torture waiting for them to call to make an appointment.

I've done everything I can and now I'm forced to wait on others, who I feel certain do not take this as seriously as I do.