Time is rapidly closing. I'm not sure how I feel about IVF. I haven't really been thinking about it; holding out hope that we won't have to take that step.
Our funding has come through; more than we actually thought we would accrue, so we will be able to afford at least a few rounds of IVF.
The sun has yet to come out and shine life-wise, but we're holding our heads down and trudging through. We'll get there...it would just be nice if it was soon.
Patience is obviously not one of my virtues.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tagged by a friend
A wonderful blogmate tagged me to share seven unusual things about me.
1. I pick at my fingers. Disgusting I know. Mostly it is just my thumbs and only when I feel stress or boredom. It’s a leftover vice from when I used to bite my fingernails (I stopped that when James put an engagement ring on my finger. I thought such a beautiful thing deserved a hand with nice-looking nails). It actually runs in the family. My aunt still bites hers and my mom used to until she was engaged as well. Weird how things travel down through the genes.
2. I acquired a weird fear for about two years after the drunk driving accident. I was unable to sleep in houses that were not my own. I would get visibly scared. Even at home, I had to sleep with the light on. It was like I became afraid of the dark. My brain had convinced itself that if I could get hit be a drunk driver, anything else could get me as well. By grad school I overcame it.
3. I am an only child, which means I suffer from space issues. One of my best friends at work is a Special Ed. teacher and she always gives me a bad time about my space issue. I tend to take up as much as three regular person spaces at the lunch table. I just don’t think about it when I lay out my things. I think it’s because I never had to make room for a sibling. It’s really kind of funny.
4. I hate clutter but also dislike cleaning. I will find it hard to work in a room that is incredibly cluttered but tend to not find the motivation to take care of the clutter. Then, when I finally do clean up, I feel great, but forget that nice feeling the next time I need to clean. It’s a vicious cycle.
5. I am perpetually subconsciously concerned that I will mis-set my alarm clock and wake up late for work. This has never actually happened, but is something I worry about.
6. If I did not have my lovely husband, it is possible I would turn into the cat lady. A crazy one, no doubt.
7. When I was little I could not watch the "Ghost Busters" movie because I was afraid the cement devil dog from the roof would burst through my bedroom window and eat me.
Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my insanity.
1. I pick at my fingers. Disgusting I know. Mostly it is just my thumbs and only when I feel stress or boredom. It’s a leftover vice from when I used to bite my fingernails (I stopped that when James put an engagement ring on my finger. I thought such a beautiful thing deserved a hand with nice-looking nails). It actually runs in the family. My aunt still bites hers and my mom used to until she was engaged as well. Weird how things travel down through the genes.
2. I acquired a weird fear for about two years after the drunk driving accident. I was unable to sleep in houses that were not my own. I would get visibly scared. Even at home, I had to sleep with the light on. It was like I became afraid of the dark. My brain had convinced itself that if I could get hit be a drunk driver, anything else could get me as well. By grad school I overcame it.
3. I am an only child, which means I suffer from space issues. One of my best friends at work is a Special Ed. teacher and she always gives me a bad time about my space issue. I tend to take up as much as three regular person spaces at the lunch table. I just don’t think about it when I lay out my things. I think it’s because I never had to make room for a sibling. It’s really kind of funny.
4. I hate clutter but also dislike cleaning. I will find it hard to work in a room that is incredibly cluttered but tend to not find the motivation to take care of the clutter. Then, when I finally do clean up, I feel great, but forget that nice feeling the next time I need to clean. It’s a vicious cycle.
5. I am perpetually subconsciously concerned that I will mis-set my alarm clock and wake up late for work. This has never actually happened, but is something I worry about.
6. If I did not have my lovely husband, it is possible I would turn into the cat lady. A crazy one, no doubt.
7. When I was little I could not watch the "Ghost Busters" movie because I was afraid the cement devil dog from the roof would burst through my bedroom window and eat me.
Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my insanity.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
T-minus three weeks and counting...
In about three weeks DH has his follow-up SA and then we know. If his numbers are 10 mil. or more, we move onto IUI with clomid. If his numbers are less than 10, we are looking at jumping into IVF.
God has provided funding for our baby. Between gifts, taxes, and the sale of some possessions, we will be able to do IVF.
Just three weeks to go...
God has provided funding for our baby. Between gifts, taxes, and the sale of some possessions, we will be able to do IVF.
Just three weeks to go...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The waiting journey is ending...
Well, the "break" is almost over. The IF talk has slowly seeped it's way back into casual conversation between DH and I. Now there's money concerns and discussion about possible clinics. The SART data was posted this week, so I've been comparing all the local clinics. I leaning in one direction, but will really have to sit down with DH and look at all the numbers.
Life's lemons are slowing. The memorial for mom's BFF was good. Sad and hard, but cathartic. I threw out my back, which sucks, but I'm starting to feel better. Vacation starts on Friday (one month; thank goodness for year-round education).
DH's cousin is pregnant with an "unplanned" pregnancy. I'm actually quite happy for them. They're both in their late 30's. They adopted after three unexplained miscarriages and then carried a beautiful little girl to term. Now I'm praying for them that this one sticks too. They've gone through enough loss.
Our stressful in-law family situation is starting to simmer down. I'm still not pleased with them, but am not outright enraged anymore.
Things are starting to look up.
Life's lemons are slowing. The memorial for mom's BFF was good. Sad and hard, but cathartic. I threw out my back, which sucks, but I'm starting to feel better. Vacation starts on Friday (one month; thank goodness for year-round education).
DH's cousin is pregnant with an "unplanned" pregnancy. I'm actually quite happy for them. They're both in their late 30's. They adopted after three unexplained miscarriages and then carried a beautiful little girl to term. Now I'm praying for them that this one sticks too. They've gone through enough loss.
Our stressful in-law family situation is starting to simmer down. I'm still not pleased with them, but am not outright enraged anymore.
Things are starting to look up.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Well, Crap
Mom's best friend of 13 years passed yesterday afternoon. The whole family is suffering. I miss her at random moments, like today at the market when we were looking at the flowers.
Our in-laws have caused a huge family rift that might never be mended. It's awful.
And, of course, there is IF.
I want things to get better.
I'm tired of lemons.
Our in-laws have caused a huge family rift that might never be mended. It's awful.
And, of course, there is IF.
I want things to get better.
I'm tired of lemons.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Update
It has been awhile, and I do apologize for that. Things have been hectic.
Report cards were due, so there is always a big push to complete all of their writing proficiencies and grade them.
My mom's best friend has terminal brain cancer. They've give her at most six months to live. She's already at the point where she does not know who anyone is and can only say words over and over again. It's awful. She's only 37 with two little girls and a loving family. She's even a fellow TTTCer (she needed assistance with her second child). It's really tearing up my parents.
DH was sick with a bad cold, and now I'm just getting over one as well.
We are now digging ourselves out of the pile. We're content, just busy.
Report cards were due, so there is always a big push to complete all of their writing proficiencies and grade them.
My mom's best friend has terminal brain cancer. They've give her at most six months to live. She's already at the point where she does not know who anyone is and can only say words over and over again. It's awful. She's only 37 with two little girls and a loving family. She's even a fellow TTTCer (she needed assistance with her second child). It's really tearing up my parents.
DH was sick with a bad cold, and now I'm just getting over one as well.
We are now digging ourselves out of the pile. We're content, just busy.
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